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Before we came to Terms with “Joel could die, Joel could go to heaven.” We prayed out of this fear. “God please! Heal him because we are so scared!” and then it shifts and you are not praying anymore because you are scared. Because if you can finally get away from that; then you are just praying for God’s glory.
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I do feel hopeless at times and I do question the sovereignty of God. Not out of ignorance or arrogance but out of real searching and needing to know that he is enough for me, beyond any reasonable human doubt. I need to know that I can walk through the raging oceans and stand on unstable ground and I dont have to be afraid because the Lord never fails and will never let me down.
Psalm 136
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
His love endures forever.
2 Give thanks to the God of gods.
His love endures forever.
3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords:
His love endures forever.
4 to him who alone does great wonders,
His love endures forever.
5 who by his understanding made the heavens,
His love endures forever.
6 who spread out the earth upon the waters,
His love endures forever.
7 who made the great lights—
His love endures forever.
8 the sun to govern the day,
His love endures forever.
9 the moon and stars to govern the night;
His love endures forever.
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Colossians 3:17
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
1 Corinthians 10:31
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
For me a lot of my perceived lack of joy does not stem from not having things to be joyful about, yet not being joyful about the things that I have been given. Wether its a roof over my head or job that provides for that roof.
My job is a great example of what Colossians 3 is talking about. I can honestly say that it has been very difficult for me to continually go to work and not get frustrated and want to just walk out the door; but as I give thanks to the Lord for the journey of this job, knowing that it is strengthening me for a purpose not yet seen. I continue in faithfulness despite my lack of faith.
Philippians 2:12
“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,”
We need to continue to act in faithfulness when we can feel the Lords presence and when we cannot. My faith grows daily in the lack of a concrete result. I think this is because if the Lord just delivered results right away, then we would be like spoiled children not having to wait on the guidance of the Father.
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